Annoying anchors

Last night I turned the television on as I climbed into bed for the night. I normally hate to watch television in bed, but with Jackson gone it is too quiet and I needed a little background noise. I turned it to a news channel for like CNN or something. I just wanted to not be on a channel with scary movie commercials. I do not like those at night- alone or not. The anchors started discussing the latest in the Jon & Kate Plus 8 drama. I guess Jon hired a babysitter that Kate didn't approve of so Kate came to the house when she did not have custody and the police were called. The anchors went on to say that, "divorce is the single worst thing that can happen to a child." WHAT?! The single worst thing? Really? Forget having a parent die, forget a child being molested, forget being born with defects- none of those matter. Nope, it is divorce that is the worst thing for a child. GIVE ME A BREAK! These people obviously lead a VERY sheltered life if they think that divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a child. Is a child better off to see their parents fighting all of the time? Are arguments between married parents better for children than a peaceful divorce? I wanted to remind these people that not every divorce gets nasty. It is not a pretty thing ever that's for sure, but not every divorcing couple needs police intervention. I always tell people that children are not stupid. They know when Mommy and Daddy do not like each other. Is that healthy? Is that good for the kid? I don't think so.  Should we teach kids that verbal abuse is ok as long as Mom and Dad stick it out together? Again, I do not think so. (I am in no way pro-divorce. I never plan on getting divorced- with or without children. I do think that people these days often throw in the towel a little early on their marriages. It is a shame, but I just think that these anchors were out of their mind to think it is the "single worst thing that can happen to a child.") 

I was about 8 years old when my parents divorced. It was not the greatest time in my life, but I understood why it was happening. I was only 8 but I was not blind. They did not get along. That was that. Was this the worst thing that ever happened to me? No. Not at all. Not even close. I was blessed that both of my parents found love again in great people that I really like. I was fortunate to never have to deal with step-siblings because neither of my step-parents had children. I know that is rare and step-siblings would have thrown a big wrinkle into things, I'm certain. My parents worked out all of the custody details in their divorce and that is how we lived. We did not deviate from what was set out for us and that worked. We knew that every other weekend we spent with my Dad. (He often ordered pizza for us on those Friday nights, too. Awesome!) We also spent one week each month during the summer (when school was out) with my Dad. Other than that we lived with Mom. I called my dad everyday after school to check in and catch up. It worked. Jon & Kate's problems are arising when someone doesn't follow the rules. I think it was important to have a schedule and to always follow it. Believe it or not, my dear news anchors, my sister and I magically turned into happy, healthy adults. It's a miracle! ;)

Anyway, as you can see, I get a little touchy when people act like children from divorced parents are damaged goods. We're all damaged goods. None of us lived a fairy tale. It does not happen. When Jackson and I were in pre-martial counseling a leader once said, "children of divorce might turn out ok." We left right after that session. Could children of divorced parents use their parents' divorce as a crutch? Sure. We all have things that have happened to us that would justify using a crutch. I don't believe in going around with a crutch. Pick up and move on. Kylie and I are blessed with 4 parents who love us, root for us and care about us. Jon & Kate's kids will likely one day have the same thing. Life is what you make of it. Those news anchors need a reality check.