Sports "Rules"

The other day my friend Kortnee was kind enough to come visit me on campus to grab smoothies at Jamba Juice. Yum. While we chatted over our smoothies we realized that we had a lot of the same annoyances when it came to sports. This lead me to come up with the list below.

1. "Venue Rule." When you're at a Colts game and they're playing the Vikings it is NOT OK to wear a Jets jersey. (Even if you're supporting Tim Tebow. True story.) You also cannot wear Yankees gear. I don't care if that is the only sporty thing you own. Go shopping. This leads me to #2.

2. "Jersey Rule." When your favorite player (for instance, Tim Tebow) gets traded to a new team, you must upgrade your gear. I'm sorry. I am. The gear is pricey, but supporting Tebow on the Broncos when he is now a Jet just doesn't work. (This is especially true for the pathetic Colts fan still rocking Peyton "washed up" Manning gear. HE LEFT YOU. MOVE ON.)

3. "Attire Rule." A sporting event is NOT a fashion show. Honestly, you may look fabulous in those designer jeans and heels when you're out on the town. You look silly in them at Assembly Hall (or any other lesser venue). If you do not have any gear (see rules #1 and 2) to support the teams currently playing then just wear something casual.

4. "Appreciation Rule." If you're a live sporting event, PAY ATTENTION. It is unacceptable to be on your phone during the entire event. (It is completely acceptable to update your Facebook status to let people know that you're there. After all, where is the fun in being somewhere cool if not everyone knows it? HA! I'm just kidding. Kind of.) If you're going to be constantly connected then stay home. Let someone else who would APPRECIATE the opportunity to attend the event live go in your place.

5. "Bully Rule." Please, pick your battles. A church in Carmel, Indiana is not the place to wear a Bears jersey when they're playing the Colts. Also, know which fans are crazy. Notre Dame fans are a force to be reckoned with. Beware. The same goes for Alabama (Roll Tide is SO fun to shout so I cannot blame them). Cubs fans tend to be insane and loyal to a fault so just don't go there. The same goes for Red Sox and Yankees fans. Do not, at all costs, admit that you "support both teams." (Guess who learned that the hard way.)

6. "NO PINK." I have yet to see a real uniform for a team that is pink. Wearing a pink Colts jersey just make you look stupid. "Oh, I'm a girl. I can only wear pink." NO. STOP. NO. NO. NO.

7. "Questions Rule." If you don't understand what is going on in the game, beware. Sometimes no one wants to take the time to explain the rules to you. Know when to ask and when to wonder. (Jackson gets pretty testy about this one.)

8. "Pick a winner." It is unacceptable to wish that "both teams could win" (or lose like when Purdue plays Iowa or Notre Dame) or to hope for a "good game." PICK A TEAM. I don't care if you pick the opposing team to my pick (OK, yes, I do care) as long as you root.

9. "Referee Rule." Unless you're being paid to be there and officiate, you're not a referee. Hush. I don't care if you think the "refs are blind" or that the "refs are idiots" just keep it quiet. Believe it or not the referees are NOT listening to you. I promise.

10. "Enjoy it Rule." If your team does not win (oh the horror) do not be a sore loser. You weren't playing. You rooted for your team as hard as you possibly could and there was nothing more to be done. You got a few hours of fun out of the experience so just walk away with that knowledge. Also, don't be a sore winner. That's just annoying. (Unless you're just elated after Indiana beats Kentucky in basketball and then being a sore winner is not just acceptable, it is expected.)

HA! :) Thanks for reading, this was fun to write. Does anyone have anything to add?