Mea culpa

I started a blog on December 3, 2012 by stating, "I do not want children of my own by any means (e.g. birth, adoption or inheritance), but I do enjoy children's antics and love Heidi and Andrew for being willing to share their children with us from time to time since our nieces and nephews reside all over the great state of Indiana."

What I meant by this statement: We do not want to birth children of our own or adopt and I certainly don't want my sister and brother-in-law to perish leaving their son behind. I'm about to post about how much fun I had with the Porterfield children which will lead to some of you (ahem, you know who you are) to pressure us to have our own. I really just wanted to post about enjoying someone else's children without getting pressure. Honestly.

I have two questions that really push my buttons: "GEE! You guys are always on the move! When will you settle down?" and "When are you going to have children?" These two questions annoy me more than someone burning a cinnamon candle.

Anyway, how my sister read my introduction was as follows: I hope I never get Alex because I don't ever want a kid.

Isn't that strange how wires get crossed? She's been offended by this so I thought I'd publicly set the record straight just in case someone else misunderstood me, too. When we said we'd be Alex's godparents, we meant it. That doesn't mean that we don't wish for my sister to get to fulfill her lifelong wish of being a mother for a long, long time. It means that we truly hope that Alex never experiences such a great loss, both of his parents, that he has to live with us. Jackson just told me yesterday that even at 35 years old and having his dad gone for many years he still thinks of him at least five times a day. I hate that for Jackson and cried when he told me that. He assured me that it just meant that he loved his dad and would always miss him. I don't want that for Alex. I want his parents to watch him grow up and learned to drive, graduate from high school, go to college (if he wants to), get married (we missed Charlie, Jackson's dad, so much at our wedding), and if he so desires, have children of his own. I want them to raise him like they planned to because that's the desire of their hearts. However, if Alex lose his parents, you can bet your life's earnings on the fact that we'd take great care of him, raise him Catholic (as promised), and love him like our own. There's no question in my mind of that fact. We'd also make sure that he knew how much his parents loved him and how proud they were of him. The very thought brings tears to my eyes, though, because I just don't want it to happen that way.

I apologize that my message wasn't received as I meant for it to be. I'm also sorry that I let people pestering me about having children change the way I openly express my appreciation for time spent with Jax and Joss. I won't do that again. I'm going to enjoy other people's kids with reckless abandonment and when the prodding comes to have my own I'll just smile and dislike that person internally. ;):) Kylie, I love Alex. I really, really do and I'm very sorry to have offended you. Please accept my sincere apology.